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People Pleaser

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Are you a people pleaser? Do you struggle with saying ‘no’ when someone asks you to do something that does not interest you? Is your schedule for that day is already full? Then, you worry if you say no, they may think you are rude, unhelpful or even unlikeable. You are trying to be nice to everyone at the expense of yourself. Don’t worry, you are not alone.

Like you, I struggle with the two-letter word daily. I will go out of my way to help everyone, only to feel stressed, anxious, tired and not having enough time or energy to get my own stuff done.

I am learning that there is personal power in saying ‘no.’ I must take care of myself first if I want to help others later. There are only so many hours in a day. Whatever I take on extra to do, takes away from what I want to get done (including my selfcare) today. I remind myself that this is my life to live. I can say ‘no’ to whatever I like, and I do not have to explain a reason to anyone. The secret to getting rid of the feelings of overwhelming dread is learning to say ‘no’ and not feeling guilty about it. Be very firm when you say `no.’ Do not lie about why you are saying ‘no.’ Do not make excuses or even try to justify why you are saying ‘no,’ either; just say NO. Remember, you do not have to explain why. This will help you avoid letting yourself be pressured into overscheduling your life.

Learning to not always be a people pleaser is a tough challenge for a lot of us. You will feel so many emotions as you are learning to say ‘no.’ When you learn how to take control of your schedule and your life, and to say no, you are giving yourself the best gift of all.

If you have any tips or tricks you would like to share on self-help or just simplify your life, email me at