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Life without drama

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We all know that one person who is overly dramatic about everything. The one who acts like everything is the end of the world, and they act childish if things do not go their way. They seem to drain our energy every time we are around them or dealing with them. They cause us headaches and irritation trying to get through the day with them or even just having a conversation with them. They drag you into their drama rather you know it or not, causing unneeded stress and negativity in your life. Do you have a friend like this? Or maybe it’s you that is the ‘Drama Queen’? This week, we will work on cutting off all drama that drains your positive energy.

What we do not realize is that most of us use unconscious strategies to gain power or energy from another person and to essentially get attention from others. We want people to notice how upset, frustrated, sad or anxious we are and to come to our rescue. Then we become the drama queen. Instead of playing the victim or being the ‘Drama Queen,’ try to get others’ attention by doing something positive. A good way to understand your own drama is to be aware of the moment it arises, what makes it arises and all the reactions that come along with it. When you notice these things, you will have taken the first step to stop your own drama and give others positive energy instead of negative. We all have been guilty of being a drama queen from time to time. I know I have.

If you realize the drama is not yours this time, it can be much easier to stop it and to live a drama-free life. Remember, drama is just someone trying hard to get your attention because they think they need that attention. People who use drama to get attention will usually continue if you are giving them what they want. Dramatic people seem to like being emotional, but the truth is their emotions are shallow and superficial. It goes back to being the center of attention. They’ll conspicuously show off any new clothing or accessory to anyone who’ll listen. Conversationally, they’ll redirect the topic to themselves by initiating gossip or prompting someone to inquire about them.

You also might notice the dramatic person throwing tantrums. When they don’t receive the attention they “deserve,” they are often quick to make a scene to get it. They also love conflict. When feeling bored, it is common for drama queens to “stir things up” by creating…you guessed it…more drama. The purpose is simple – to ignite emotions and get people into a reactive state. This is the perfect recipe for conflict. When conflict does surface, a drama queen wants the conflict to stick around if possible. To them, it’s an emotional high. Even when everyone else seems ready to separate themselves from the situation, the drama queen will try to bring them back in through their typical, irrational antics.

A drama queen loves to make their presence known in the most dramatic way possible. This often involves showing up a bit late (how ironic) so that all eyes are on them. The drama queen basks in this attention, whether it be good or bad. Another common trait is your significant other will suddenly fall ill immediately prior to you meeting up with some friends or perhaps trying to get in some (well-deserved!) alone time. They’ll make the utmost attempt to alter your state of mind – one from happiness and contentment to guilt and unworthiness. Of course, the entire charade is intended to ensure that they remain your number one priority.

Remember, drama is just someone trying hard to get your attention because they think they need that attention. Awareness and recognition of drama allow you to break the cycle and choose to disconnect from it altogether. You always have a choice during difficult interactions with others, and knowing and being aware of it will allow you to live a drama-free life and keep most of the negative energy far away from you.

If you have any tips or tricks you would like to share on self-help or just simplify your life, email me at